Friday, September 14, 2012

Take a Stand To Bullying

When I found out we were going to move to Texas from Indiana the first thing I started to do was research schools. I spent hours reading all about the schools, looking at their ratings, going over their curriculium, and looking up their teachers. Maybe this is a bit much but to us education is so so important. Todd found the house we are in and before we signed anything he went and toured the school. I sent him with a list of quesitons and things to look for when touring the school. The school that our son goes to is the same one that Todd toured; it has almost 1,000 students ranging from Kindergarten to grade 5. He stated the kids seemed so well behaved and the staff was friendly. This gave me piece of mind. 

Registration came and my parents were with me. While I was doing all the paper work they toured the school and looked around and met some of the staff. The staff was very friendly, but I could tell by a look on my Dad's face something was going on. Once we left he said that the school was nice and clean but he just didn't have a good feeling. I didn't have a good feeling either, but I brushed it off to me being nervous of Bub starting a new school. Let's fast forward to meet the teacher night - she spent just a few minutes with us even though at the time, there were not that many parents there. 

{Every afternoon for the entire first week of school Bub would complain about how mean his classmates were to him}
The first week of school every single day I went to pick him up he would complain on how mean his classmates were to him. I let it go because {I figured he was just having a hard time adjusting to his new school} it was something new to get used too. His school is much larger than last year and there are a lot more students in his homeroom. The second week of school comes and he is still complaining, I ended up running into one of the Special Ed teachers and we made sure we had a meeting together the next day. The Special Ed teacher was very helpful and so very nice. Ironically Bub brought home a picture and a note the night before my meeting. The note said "Brayden you are a jerk." I took that in and showed the teacher and she said it would be squashed because they took bullying very seriously. I thought great, this is going to end up being a pretty good place. 

Now fast forward to this week. I've said before that my child has Autism, this is something that has been hard for me to finally come out and say. To me he is perfect and he does not have it, when I look at him I see a smart smart young boy. The boy knows things that children his own age would not know. My son is an emotional child with tender feelings (remember that for a second will ya?) Tuesday our son got in trouble for drawing on someone else's art project and he did something else but that is going to stay private. We discussed it with him and he realized what he did was wrong. Wednesday before I took him to school we discussed as a family again what he did wrong and how he should make it right. He was going to go in and say sorry to the kids that he wrote on the art project. He got a little emotional but by the time I took him to school he was better. I didn't notice at the time but he forgot his backpack in my vehicle. The school called asking if I could bring it to him, so I ran out of the gym and got to the school and let them know I was there to drop off his backpack. The AP (assistant principle) who is also the same person that called and asked me to bring the bag, greeted me at the door. Her first words were Hello Mrs. (insert last name), him not having his backpack has caused a lot of triggers. I asked to see my child so I could make sure he was calm and get his mind back on his school work and then go on. She refused to let me see my child, we went rounds about this for a good five minutes. I got in my car and started sobbing. You might think this is not a big deal but when you have a child of special needs they function a bit differently. Once I got home I dialed up the Superintendent to report the incident and by noon the Principle of the school was calling me. Once she had heard what all we had gone through she apologized and was going to look into everything. I told her I was 99% sure since his day had started off emotional that there would be another incident. 

He got in the car complaining again and then complaining his shirt was dirty. He kept this up all evening and finally at supper told us that kids were throwing sand and dirt on him. I looked at Todd and he gave me a look but we continued to listen. That night Todd did the baths while I was doing other house duties. Todd got me alone for a second and let me know there was in fact sand in Bub's hair. When we were tucking Bub into bed we were asking him about it. He told us the kids were saying "na na na na you can't catch me!" We immediately thought they are just trying to play tag with you and be your friend. I came downstairs and wrote a note to the teacher letting her know what had been going on and what we had thought was going on. Now we are up to date to today. After school there was a note in his bag that in fact the kids were bullying my child. These kids were in fact throwing dirt and sand at my child. 

By this time I am very upset, I am upset that I thought the kids were trying to play together and be his friend, I am upset because I can picture my baby standing there telling the kids to stop and these kids to continue to throw dirt on him. I hid my tears from him and got him occupied with something else. I immediatley notified the Principle of what was going on; she did respond and hopefully these kids will not bully my child again....but we will see. I finally broke and the water works came a roaring when I kept replaying my baby having the dirt and sand thrown at him. Who would do that to another person? 

What is wrong with kids? Where are their parents and what are the parents teaching them at home? At this age kids pick up from their parents actions and mock them. It is very disturbing that a parent would act this way in front of a young impressionable child. That is part of where the bullying starts. Now I get to sit at home and watch the clock with my stomach in knots wondering how my child is doing at school; is he okay, is he getting made fun of, is he getting called names, is he getting dirt and sand thrown at him? A school is suppose to be a "safe place" for children to learn. 

If you are a parent and are reading this please discuss bullying with your child. Maybe this will help teach children if they see someone getting bullied then they can go get help for a child. This may save some constant worrying from a parent, or maybe make the child feel like the school they attend is their "safe place".  One last thing, parents remember that YOU are your childs voice. 


  1. This is a great post. I'm sorry to hear that's been happening to you. I think the reason a lot of kids bully is because they don't have parents like yourself that put time and effort into really getting to know their children. I work at a college and it always amazes me how rude some students treat others and how others are the complete opposite. It mostly stems from their parents and you can see this on check in day - as the parents are a mirror image of the student. It's so so important to talk about bullying with your kids and too be there for them as their biggest supporter.

  2. My heart absolutely breaks for you!! (and Brayden!) NO child deserves treatment like that! And the poster above is right, a lot of children don't have parents like you who teach their child the RIGHT way to treat someone, which is still no excuse! You are so right about children being so impressionable at this age. I am angered that the principal and teachers weren't more understanding of you and your son. Although, there are times when teachers don't see behavior like that, but the second a child tells you that someone is being mean and hurtful, the teacher should have stood up and done something. It seriously breaks my heart to hear stuff like this going on! I'm thinking about you girl!


I love when you comment and I read every comment. Please make sure your email address is set up so I can respond to you! Thank you for stopping by CRCL!